This may be too soon to post this but the way I get over situations and issues is to write about it. I write poems mostly to do this but I also just like to write. Some may read this and think it is too personal to write, to you I apologize. Some may read this and freak out, so you I say please dont judge. Some may read this and say I feel so bad, to you I say everything happens for a reason.
Life has always thrown at me what I like to say curves in the road. The road being my life and the curves the issues that come along that were unseen and hard to see past because sometimes they are huge curves in the road and the straight part in the road can not be seen. Well I had a huge curve put in my road recently and I am actually truly thankful for it. I still really dont see the straightway, but I know that it is there and I will be okay.
About two weeks ago I met a guy. For those of you that dont know I have done the online dating scene for quite sometime. This is something that I have truly grown to hate as much as dating in the real world. So back to this guy. I started talking to him a little over two weeks ago. At first I wasnt sure I wanted to talk to him because I was done with the scene. But I did and I thought we were truly starting to hit it off really well. I felt an instant connection with him. We talked on the phone and text a lot. We made plans to meet. Well that never happened. There was just something that felt so right about this guy and he seemed to be truly different compared to other guys. I knew he had as he called it a past to him, but that was something that never scared me away from him. I truly was beginning to like this guy and was so wanting to meet him.
Well remember that curve I was talking about, ya well a huge curve was thrown into my path. I found somethings out that for most would have been a sign to run the other way. They were as some would say red flags. Well all I can say since I started talking to him I had been praying nonstop. I have been hurt in the past and didnt want to go through it again. I can honestly say I felt very good about proceeding and developing a relationship with this wonderful guy I was getting to know. Well when that curve hit me, I was ready to run, I was ready to forget. But for once in my life my head, heart, and gut aligned. That never happens for me!
At that moment we decided he need to work through some things and we would remain friends with the potential of dating when things were said and done. I knew and still know that this is the right choice for me. I knew I would have to have lots of patience. Patience is something that I have been blessed with in my life. Another thing is being able to discern what people are telling me. I can usually tell what the truth is and what isnt. Well everything was good for a couple days. We were truly getting to know each other and I realized I wanted to date this guy more than ever.
Well just like every curve in the road sometimes they get bigger. And this curve did, a lot bigger. This man I was truly starting to care about found out some horrible news. Well instantly this news made my heart ache for him. I spent the rest of that night with a prayer in my heart praying everything would work out for him. I also knew because of this news the things he needed to work through would take a longer. I was okay with this. I had an every so determination to continue to be his friend and support him in everything.
Well again as curves happen sometimes they can get slick and we slip on those curves. Well a slip happened. and this is why my heart is very saddened. This man I cared for and so was ready to date and had things to work through decided to make some other choices. Ones that truly affected me and my heart. I understand to a point why he made the choices be made. I hope and pray the choices he does make, he has done with guidance from above and is truly happy! All I want for this man is true happiness. He so deserves to be happy in life! He is truly an amazing man of God and has a lot going for him. I dont know if he see that in himself but I have from the very beginning. Thats what made him so different from the others, I really dont think he knows how great he is and so he is a very humble man because of that! I truly care for this man and will for awhile. He has had a huge impact on my life. More than he will ever know. My head, heart, and gut is still telling me to be his friend and I will be! I may have gotten hurt a bit, but what is life with out hurting. It makes us stronger and a better person. I know I am a stronger person already! Wounds heal but the thought of losing this man as a friend is something I couldn't live with.
My heart will be sad for awhile but I will move on! I am strong daughter of a most loving Heavenly Father. I know the answers I got are from Him. Others may question that but I know and will never doubt that. I am a firm believer that things happen for a reason and what truly matters is how we handle them. Our Heavenly Father is proving to us who we really are. Some may say I am crazy for still being his friend, well to you I say please don't judge for you truly don't know. I know I have a loving Heavenly Father that has continues to bless me with discernment of the situation and will continue to guide my life as long as I remain a most humble disciple and continue to do the things in my life that I know I should! I know my Heavenly Fathers loves me and this guy and everyone! He is the person who knows all. All we have is time on this earth to show and prove to our Heavenly Father that we love and honor him. I truly believe in the atonement and the using the atonement to heal our lives in all aspects, whether it be sin or just a hurt heart! Everyone has the chance to change if they truly want to! My life will continue to move forward and I will get to the straight part in my life again. My Heavenly Father so need for me to grow and I wouldn't change anything that has happened the last couple weeks. I am truly grateful for the experience and hope that I can truly prove to my Heavenly Father who I really am!
Life happens for a reason. Reasons that remain unseen.
Are we stronger because of them or do we just scream?
Screaming gets us no where, but having faith and hope is what is best to share.
Cleave unto the things that are right, never be afraid of our lives fight!
Be grateful for every situation for there is something to be learned.
We may no not understand now but time will soon teach us what we need to know to grow.
Everything for a reason, somethings just happen for a season.
Life is about growing and showing!
Continue smiling, because guess what life happens for a reason!
You are right Steph. Things do happen for a reason. Often we are given trials, not just to help us grow, but to put us in the place that we need to be to help others, or gain understanding to help others later on. You are doing the right thing in following the guidance of the spirit and praying. Just because we aren't dating someone doesn't mean we have to stop being their friend, I hope everything works out for him too. You are such a strong and faithful daughter of God, I'm proud of you.
ReplyDeleteOh, my sister and cousin have tried the online dating thing, and they agree, they hate it just as much as real dating, if not more. :/